The Heart of Disunity

Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members? You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war.
– James 4:1-2, NKJV –

The reason we fight and quarrel is not very mysterious. Neither is the reason for disunity in our relationships and the church as a whole. Scripture makes the cause plain as day. Selfish desires, and the proud hearts giving birth to them (James 4:6). That’s the problem. Communication is not the problem. Variant personalities are not the problem. Differences of culture or upbringing are not the problem. Self-centered cravings. That’s the problem. We want what we want when and how we want it. Our flesh arises in the morning and enters the world loaded with a silent agenda: My kingdom come and my will be done.

Of course, since other Christians do not exist to serve our personal desires, they eventually get in our way. And when they do, we go to war. We “lust” for approval and receive disapproval, so we “murder” the culprits in our heart. We long for attention or respect or glory and some Christian brother steals it away from us, so we hate and despise him in our hearts. A sister takes ourparking place and we resent her for it. We covet the spouse, child, house, or health of a brother or sister in Christ, then we fail to achieve what we covet, so we gossip, slander, and mistreat those who have what we wish we had.

Think about how many relational disputes in your love come down to a clash of competing desires. Think about how many arguments you fall into because of opposing passions.

What is the answer? Firstly, humility. James says, “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6, NKJV). Humility kills the pride that kills our relationships. Secondly, submission to God rather than the devil (verse 7). Such submission frees us from slavery to our desires and thwarts the schemes of the evil one. Thirdly, drawing near to the Lord for His mercy and aid (verse 8). Our strength is not enough. We need the Lord to help us. Finally, repentance. “Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom” (verse 9). We need to renounce our personal kingdoms and glory in order to serve the kingdom of Christ and His glory.