4 Key Questions to Ask Before Helping Others Resolve Conflict

Though helping to resolve conflict between fellow believers is an act of love, meddling in disputes is not. Inserting yourself into a conflict that isn’t yours is about as helpful as grabbing a pit bull by the ears. It will not often end well, and you might end up provoking a brother or sister to anger.

Before you enter other peoples’ quarrels, ask yourself these four questions:

1. Do you have a good enough relationship with those involved so that they will see your involvement as a loving act of concern rather than a nosy, unwanted intrusion? In other words, are you already invested in the people and situation or are you just a passerby?
   
2. Have you prayed for those involved before jumping in?
   
3. Are you humbly and genuinely interested in the good of those involved?
   
4. Do the quarreling parties actually need your help in the moment?
   

If the answer to these questions is “yes,” then prayerfully intervene in Christian love. If one or more answers is “no,” then pray from a distance but don’t butt in. Maybe you can help them after they are done fighting. Whatever you do, don’t egg them on. Be a peacemaker—not a fight watcher.